Gelo News Moose Call 2021

The Moose Call by Josh Barnum Mr. Moose has officially retired (if that’s possible at Falcon) from The Moose Call. Despair not, the two granddaughters have leapt into the breech and assumed the mantle of editorship and will battle it out with dueling columns: Cordelia, chief correspondent for the senior branch of the family has decided to write about the Covid Caliper. Melody, who Josh calls Iphiginia, is senior correspondent for the junior branch of Barnum Circus, Inc. Melody (Iffy) took pity on her grand uncle and decided to write about how GEL saved Grand Uncle Josh’s life. pumpkin.png The Covid Caliper T’was brillig and slothy toves…Mr. or Ms. Therapist took their vorpol caliper in hand. Long time the measurement was sought. (for those of you deprived of Lewis Carrol you can skip the Alice in Wonderland allusions. Thank God I am sparing you Lawrence Stern and Uncle Tobby (yes, this is where hobby horse comes from)). Two events brought the caliper to mind. Joanne Vigor at the VA Battle Creek ordered three for their home visits, and super rep Mike Lane in Virginia was asked to make home visits and do measurements with the caliper for his therapists at the VA Hampton. calipers.png This caliper has 3 significant advantages: large enough to properly measure Jabba the Hut with room to spare; allows measurement however the client is positioned; allows you to measure from a good distance. melody.png Melody (AKA Iphiginia daughter of Casey and Agamenon) How Iffy saved Uncle Josh’s worthless life. elbow.png There is an old fable that a diver stung by a lion fish should commit suicide to stop the pain. I was forced into a similar situation by an elbow bursitis. Not only did it hurt, but it was my drinking elbow and inhibiting my self-medication. elbow wrap.png Ah, brother Christopher, makes a fine GEL elbow sleeve. I figured what the hell? It will at least cover the bursitis, so I stole one from his stock. It is Heaven, so suicide (after falling 17 ft off the roof) has been postponed. Buy two of the GEL pads and keep one in the freezer so it works even better. Stupid me. When I had bursitis in my knee 2 years ago I didn’t think of the GEL and suffered in silence. Now if I drank with my knee I might have reasoned to the same solution. Stop suffering oh you bursitis elite. Treat yourself to the Heaven of GEL and to Hell with the bursitis. I must warn Trump supporters that GEL has been known to improve your mood and turn you into a democrat, if not a socialist. USA.png Stop the Presses! Biden wants US purchases to include 70% of something, anything made in the USA. Well unless it’s a 747 made by Boeing or anything made by Falcon it is going to be a tough undertaking. Goodbye Permobil, Adios Quantum, Au revoir Quickie, and alas poor Invacare, we knew you well.